THE MIYUYUMES

      seharusnya aku memperkenalkan diri dulu kan ttg keluarga aku.jadi aku mulai dari mana ya? ehemm ,dari mama dulu deh ,i love herside family, theyre great ,jadi ada mbahkung di balikpapan ,agama nya jago ,bisa 5 bahasa .pintar ,suka baca ,syg cucu,ga prnah marah,and we are speaking in many languages.i love him .beliau org jawa,alm.mbah putri yg aku uda lupa gimana wajahnya meninggal tgl 5 agustus,4 hr stlah aku lahir pas aku tk dulu. mmm,kata mama beliau yg jaga aku dr lahir.bnyk masalh dikeluarga ,tp beliau selalu mnjaga aku.mbahkung kerja di perusahaan asing di kalimantan ,termasuk kaya ,mbah putri jualan baju ini itu,emas ,tanah,jago bgt soal bisnis.smua bahagia sampai beliau wafat,kelurga kacau dan akhirnya mbahkung ditipu .so poor but live must go on. mama 7 bersaudara,om faris(ganteng) , om fajal ,om dut,bude tuti (kutu buku),bude diah,mama,dan om lukman(agak keterbelakangan mental). aku ga pernah jumpa om faris krna jauh  ,yg tinggal sm mbah di balikpapan itu om fajal, istrinya ga peduli mbah.ugh sial tuh org!anak nya cowok ga tau siapa namanya,tp mbah syg bgt sm smua cucu,aku males deh kenalan.kalo om dut baru nikah tahun lalu,dia pelaut,skrg menetap di balikpapan,gayanya preman bgt tp baik hati hahaha.tampang bleh sangar tp hati selembek bubur.disamarinda ada bude tuti ,2 thun lalu bru khilangan suami,pakde alm joko.baik orgnya punya 2 anak cewek kyk mbah putri cantik putih arab gitu,padahl bude tuti letek,ampun budee..namanya mbak susan dan mbak ivon.mbak susan pernah di terbangkan ke medan dr kalimantan ,mama kuliahin s2 tp selang berapa lama kabur sama pacarnya org aceh(baru tahu dunia bikin org kaget,untung belum apa2.alhamdulillah)akhirnya mama pulangkn.bude diah ada di malang sma pakde (lupa namanya,buka bengkel las)anaknya 2 mbak indah ,manis anaknya,anak rumahan ,kuliah desaigner ,adeknya ganteng putih namanya dimas,medok bgt jawanya,takut sm cewek ,syg kucing,hahhahah.kita dekat bgt sm mereka.om lukman blm nikah,mama itu orgnya supel,gaul,cantik,tabah,pintar,lucu,sabar bgt,luar biasa.MOMMY IS OUR GUARDIAN DEMIGOD.mama lahir tgl 11 febuari 1969 disurabaya,mama hobi nonton film drama korea,mama tmpat curhat kita semua,mama yg terbaik,aku berdoa agar semua dosa mama diampuni,mama sehat selalu ,diberi ALLAH SWT ketabahan,lapang dada ,kasih syg dr smua org,dicintai papa,dihargai papa ,di manjain papa,dimudahkan jalannya,apa yg mama mau dpt trkabul ,trcapai,amin rabbal allamin. itu dr keluarga mama.semoga mbahkung yg uda doain aku lullus universitas samapi masuk komunikasi usu lwt umb 2010 dpt dilapangkan,diberi kesehatan,diampuni segala dosa.amin mbah putri di ampuni dosanya,di jauhkan dr siksa api neraka.

          PAGI tadi,tgl 25 juni 2010 dimana seharusnya jadi hari bahagia ,aku dan ewin 2 tahun 10 tahun -hell yeah- aku dpt kabar dr papa kalo mas edwin tabrakan.dia dr kebun di batahan sama temennya ,namanya bg jinok.ceritanya gini : mas naik mobil trooper putih usang yg masih kuat larinya dgn kecepatan  40km/jam ada angkot dr kejauhan,mas nyalip ke kanan curi jalan org ,ya iyalah masa mau nungguin angkot ampe mampus ,bego bgt deh. pas uda mau nyalip di angkot berhenti ,tiba2 dengan dongo nya org yg td turun dr angkot langsung nyebrang pas didpn mas alhasil ngerem mndadak menyebabkan anak bego yg nyebrang lari2 td terlempar ga berapa jauh ,lumayan lah .kepala tu anak kena bamper depan ,kap mobil jadi penyot .mas habis 2 jutaan juga .tp pas panggil polisi mas yg bener.kita ga mau dong ganti rugi smua. org tu anak ga kenapa2 kata dokter ,tp keluarga korban (kita juga korban) minta scan kepala di siantar.bla blaablaaa.aku mama papa ga tau kelanjutannya gimana.papa cuma takut bgt mas di apa apain org kampung situ.secara di sana di tarutung itu masih primitif ,pilkada kemarin aja rusuh ada yg dibakar ,polre juga pernah dibakar .brutal dan terbelakang bgt deh budayanya. berhubung mas ga bisa pulang karna masih panjang lagi tuntutan keluarga korban mas mau jalur pengadilan aja ,kita ga salah kok.siapa suruh nyebrang lari2 tiba2 .sengaja kali ya,kan buktinya dia ga kenapa2.kalo mas ga ngerem dy pasti kelindes ,sukur kita pelan aja.mana mas lagi sakit beberapa hari ini .maag nya kambuh.wish u alright brother.miss u..td sempat naik motor goncengan sama mama ke pajak ikan beli telekung.lucu bgt perjalanan hari ini. oh ya out of topic nih ..hahhaha ,saran aku buat para pengendara motor atau mobil .kalo kalian di jalan lintas dan nabrak org yg nyebrang sembarangan .in fact kalian ga salah ,mau dia terkapar juga biarin aja kali ,itu salah satu bentuk pemerasan kyk kita.,si korban tdi ke rumah sakit siantar yg hooras2 itu (kyk hotel tu rumkit),pdhl ada rumah sakit lain,di tarutung dibilang dktr dia gapapa ,bapaknya maksa rawat inap .disuruh kami bayar.papa sm mama besok mau ke sana ,ngecheck smua,dan bkl lewat jalur pengadilan.siapa suruh dy licik mau meras kita.prikitiw pokoknya kl nabrak jgn berhnti drpada mobil kalian dibakar ,kalian dipukulin(alhamdulillah mas gpp) bagus kalian nyantai aja kyk di pantai slow kayak di pulau ..karna ada beberapa daerah primitif yg ga bisa di tebak gimana sifat warganya.

http://www.4shared.com/audio/XgQZfMxG/A_Letter_From_Janelle_-_Chiodo.htm

We make the sun shine
We make come on
(Move with me (4x))

Don't you think I could tell
That you were trying to trying to make
Fool out of me, a fool out of me (2x)
To remember who you really are

It's so easy to get lost
In constantly having to present
Whatever face you believe
A person wants to see rather than your own

Yet we hesitate to surrender all of our insecurities
(Move with me (2x))
Only the ones we are most comfortable relinquishing
(Move with me (2x))

Don't you think I could tell
That you were trying to trying to make
Fool out of me, a fool out of me (2x)

Such a paradox
Isn't it, isn't it (6x)
(Isn't it, isn't it (2x))

                    huftt... we  are starting again....here we are , semalam lagi mau nulis blog inet lagi kaco. jadi semalam itu kita (anak kemitraan) jam 8 wajib ngumpul di ruang makan jam 8 .untung boru(my fella-ines vania)bangunin smpe berkali2 nelpon ,akhirnya kebangun jam 1/2 sembilan pagi .kalang kabut mau nangis ,mama panik gilak,akhirnya lengkap ga mandi lagi(kemarinnya ga mandi)modal cuci muka sikat gigi langsung kabur naik mio andalan ,ga sampai 5 mnit juga uda nyampe,sampai sna ditipuin sm anak2 ,trnyata belum masuk,kita disuruh balik jam 2 siang.bingung mau kemana kita putuskan ke sun plaza (slh 1 mall kece di mdn),makan di QQ,  gonna rock this plaza.okeyy ,uda siap makan beli MARMUT MERAH JAMBU(MMJ),raditya dika punya buku. trus pas di kemitraan nunggu smpai jam 4 bru dikabarin kita smua dpt form kedokteran hari sabtu ,sial ,wasting time bgt,pdhl si ezza uda ngajakin nnton toy story .batal deh . pulangnya nemenin mama ke galani beli legging (my first legging) sama beli beha,hahhahah, seminggu lagi aku pergi ke KL,ga semngat krna byk gangguan.sebel deh pokoknya. trus malam diajakin ngopi sm ex -rezasatyapratama- ngopi di kopi tiam bntar jam 9nan gtu juga balik.trust me dont ever order ''pisang coklat keju'' krna sngt eneg makannya kl dicmpur kopi. what the......... krna pengaruh kopi akhirnya insomnia + kopi = begadanggadangsuntukmalamkelabu.      seperti biasa i miss him ,transformasi perubahan buat nunggu dy pun makin lemah,sempat terpikir nelpon ewin ,tp aku ga mau ganggu tidurnya.ga mau ganggu hidup dy yg uda sempurna gitu ....great life must stand .so up girl ,aku bisa hidup tanpa cintaku.hahhahah- tertawa pahit. i love him yeahhhh

                  ok ,about a week ago ,i came to ewin's home .we had broken up.i miss him so i told him i need my photo .he trusted me .when i came there he was sleeping .his sistr,anonk woke his up and we were watching movie then. we watched STEP FATHER.ewin hold my hand tightly ,kissed my hairs,i just cant ignored. suddenly he forced me to watching HARI UNTUK AMANDA ,he said its a good movie ,about couple who broke up and the girl want to get marry .so OKA ANTARA is the player ,ilovehimtoomuchveryhuge.and i thought the movie was perfectly tragic. so sad ,but i didnt cry in front of hi,.i said world is cruel and harry (oka) didnt have possibility to be a husband, ewin loves the soundtrack,when he drove me home we fight cause he saw(i swear he wasflirting wif a girl-hot girl -in becak)i drove him back and leave him alone ,but few minutes later i realized i was wrong ,too jealousy is not good enough so i came back to simlingkar and called him from wartel
                   but he didnt want to drove me back ,so i was waiting him in front his home until he came out ,i followed him wherever because his father asked him to buy anthena.in the end he didnt want to drove me home because it was late nite ,10 oclock ,i knew it was childish and i am sorry bout my personality ,i wanna be new ditta ,i hope ewin and i can be friends . i need another boyfrieds .BECAUSE ,IF WE AREN'T HAVE SAME RELIGION ,WE AREN'T SOULMATE ,(kl kita beda agama itu artinya kita mang ga jodoh dr awal) yeah i knew it ,i promise my mom i will leave him when i at university . i love him ,but he always make me cry ,sad ,desperate,crazy ,mad ,angry,stupid, i dont know who i am.and im a teenage ,so its a usual thing ,... i guess ... here is the lyric of HARI UNTUK AMANDA SOUNDTRACK .

SINGER : MUSIC FOR SALE
TITLE : SO RIGHT

Love is so funny when you get hurt and you're starting to laugh
just standing alone now figuring why everything was going so fast
and all you've wanted was someone and love will take care for the rest
like I can do...like I want to...for so long...


Love is a puzzle and all you need is someone just to figure it out
don't look away babe cause u know I always be willing to try
I'll wait you right here babe cause I know that baby I'm not fooling around
baby I want you...just only you...for so long

Chorus

Baby, I know what you feel and I'm so inspired
honey, if you let me with you I'll fix you right
So Right....
We might as well go on together
cause baby I can love you better
if you realize


I know that you're sad babe and all you need is love but love was not easy to find
don't look far now cause you know I always be waiting in front
I'll always be here even though I know you always left me behind
Baby I want you...just only you...for so long

Back to chorus

I want to love, hold, give you all the care that you need
relax baby when you're with me cause I'll be the one who holds you tight
tonight, baby when we're together, this feeling will take you further and you'll be alright...


i love you ewin ,you are my first love but we had a wrong relationship ,it was bad,we did too many things.

Denying my feeling and running far far away from you, are the best things i can do now. I cant hold onto my heart anymore. My desire is, to be able your very good friend, wish i could i can hear all of your story, to feel what you feel, your pain and your happiness. I was pretending i can handle and control all of this shit thing. I though i was strong enough. But i guess i was wrong. No more pretending, it's so exhausting. So sorry, i can't pretending to be your friend, but also i don't wanna be your enemy. So, please just get off of my sight, of my mind. I'm running away now, and hope you won't came to find me. But it won't take forever, you just don't have to worry me. Maybe someday (i hope soon), when my heart get better than today, i am the one who will came to you, to ask you to be my friend. I'll be just fine with my own, don't worry me, and take care yourself, be happy with your life, with your own. And, see you again.

ALHAMDULILLAH,semua puji syukur terus aku panjatkan . setelah tgl TANGISAN KU SAAT PENGUMUMAN UN ,dan DITTA MAHARANI TIDAK LULUS UJIAN NASIONAL 2010 .nilai smua 9 ,cuma bahsa indonesia 3,8.sakit nya hati aku. padahal ga usah munafik kita smua ANAK SMANSA dapat jwaban .kok bisa nya jwaban aku sndiri yg beda d yg lain.pdahal aku uda cocokin sm jimmy carter. reza muhaimin. tgl 10 mei 2010 ,10 hari setelah kegagalan ku aku ujian ulangan. semua respect aku dapat .dari ewin ,eja,mala arip dan seklas bu wirda ,DAN ALHAMDULILLAH, AKU MENDAPATKAN SEORANG WANITA LUAR BIASA ,seorang ibu yg luar biasa tegar ,satu tetes air mata pun ga keluar,malah ketawa.mbak ditta ga lulus un,bahasa indonesia? hahah,ANJING SAMA SEMUA GURU YG UDAH TAU AKU GA LULUS ,YG BUAT AKU GA LULUS KENPA GA KALIAN KASIH TAU,SMPAI KALIAN PUAS BUAT AKU SMA MAMA DATANG KE SEKOLAH ANJING KAYAK KALIAN.kalian pantas di kasarin,ga ad yg mendidik ,tp aku ikhlas ,terima kasih karna gra2 kau BULMAR PASARIBU AN WIRA AMSAL PASARIBU DAN UANG KALIAN ,AKU JADI GIAT BELAJAR.walau dengan kecerobohan ku di minggu yg sama setelah ketidak lulusn ku mobilku kerampokan gara2 dtg ke ultah ANGGINA DALIMUNTE ,gara2 dia hape tas nitemare kesayangan aku dompet kcamata gucci ilang ,kaca mobil pecah ,atm sim ktp,foto ,kartu ucapan dr ewin smua hilang kau buat! semua kegagalan yg buat aku makin dekat gn ALLAH SWT,ewin tetap di smping aku nemani smua kesulitan dan cobaan yg aku alami. semua guru yg merasa menang melihat keluarga kami mreka salah.TAHUN INI FESTIVAL OF SMANSA #2 LAGI LAGI MEMPERCAYAKAN AKU JADI MC ,kali ini sama gitta(anak fk usu '10) tahun lalu aku bawa AIDA VIOLINI. DAN biar para guru tau ,aku ga butuh tatapan puas kalian lihat aku gagal karna bulmar ,(wira wktu klas 2 sma mnjam hp trus di kasih hendi ,sama hendi di jual nya buat main lonte ,ewin berantem m mereka ,aku yg di maki bedahsari,mama di pojokkan,jamilah bilang aku overacting ,aku bikin malu keluarg wira ,cerita lengkapnya postingn selanjutnya)                       .kembali kecerita awal.mama terus berdoa buat aku. atas semua cobaan yg ALLAH BERIKAN ,hari ini tgl 8 JUNI 2010 ,ALHAMDULILLAH DITTA MAHARANI LULUS UMB '10 FAKULTAS KOMUNIKASI USU . selalu ada hikmah di balik smua cabaan dr ALLAH SWT , smua pengorbanan mama ,pak ramzah ,dan org orag dibelakang ku yg berhasal membuat aku sukses,dar anak males yg cuma jalan2 aja bisa belajar dan usaha sendiri .luar biasa bersyukur atas semua yg ALLAH BERIKAN .walaupun aku uda putus dr ewin.tp dy beri aku bnyk kekuatan . 2 tahun 9 bulan yg penuh suka duka. semoga aku biasa meraih cita2 dan impian di SNMPTN LULUS KEDOKTERAN USU ,AMIN.    BIAR SEMUA ORANG YANG MENDZALIMI AKU TAHU ALLAH GA PERNAH TIDUR ,WALAU AKU LULUS UN BELAKANGAN AKU SANGGUP BERSAING DENGAN ORANG YG LULUS ,LIHAT WIRA ! AKU YG TERSENYUM SEKARANG SEPERTI HARI AKU GA LULUS KAU BUAT AKU TULIS DI TWITTER ,KAU BOLEH TERSENYUM SEKARANG TAPI KITA LIHAT SIAPA YG TERSENYUM DI AKHIR . ALLAH MAHA KUASA ,ALHAMDULILLAH .